You Can Never Escape the Past
by Mitsuki Horenake
Summary: The nightmare had been haunting him ever since they first met.  It would come and go, adding details upon details with each viewing.  And it would always remind him of what he had done in the past.  It will never let him go.


**Yay, One-Shot! I don't own Hetalia or whatever is associated with it! So yeah…have fun.**

**/=+=/**

_He was walking down a hallway, dimly lit by candlelight and lined with wood. His footsteps echoed with each step that he took. The white hallway looked gray and meaningless, with no door in sight. Slowly, he walked down the silent hall before finding himself in front of the __Door__._

_He didn't want to open it up. He just wanted to stay in front of it forever. Yet when he approached it, it creaked open, forcing him inside._

_He slowly walked inside, noticing that the echo of his footsteps changed from wood to marble. A pathway was illuminated in front of him, glowing yellow and adorned with candles and lilies. At the end of the pathway was a box covered with lilies and what looked like to be a body. Once he approached it, the face was clear for him to see._

_It was Feliciano._

_He screamed._

**/=+=/**

His eyes darted open, his hand extended out in the air. A sigh escaped him as he lowered his hand to his forehead, feeling his skin drenched with sweat. Slowly, he turned to the alarm clock at his bedside and saw it flash 2:10 AM. He groaned and rolled to his side, happy that he was alone in the house for once and that he didn't have to see Italy's face as of yet.

He sighed.

Feliciano was always at his side ever since he found him around World War I. Ludwig had secretly enjoyed his company despite the fact that the Italian was annoying out of his wits and extremely clingy. When he had joined the Allied Forces during World War I, that's when Ludwig knew that the Italian _(against ALL odds)_ had stolen his heart.

That was when the nightmare started.

It began in steps and wavered every now and then. At first, it was just him walking in the darkness. There was no echo in his footsteps; he was just walking down to nothing. The second week or so, the area turned into a dimly lit hallway. The candles showed up around the third week. At the forth week, he finally found the door in front of him. Yet he was so scared to open it that he only got the courage to do so on the sixth week.

And that's when he saw the body.

The first time he had seen it, it was so bloody that he couldn't even see his face. The second time, he was able to see the curl. And all the times after that, it was the same as his dream now: Feliciano's face was peaceful, the blood stains on his face and body cleaning away until he looked as if he was just sleeping.

Which he should be doing if he was going to be functional for the day.

He sighed as he tried to close his eyes again to sleep. After another hour, he was finally able to do so.

**/=+=/**

Everyone couldn't help but stare at the sleeping German during the meeting. For one thing, Germany was actually _**sleeping**_ during a meeting. That was usually centered toward Italy or Spain _(and sometimes Canada, but since no one really pays attention to him, he's the only one who can get away with it)_, and even then Germany would wake them up. This was a first.

"Wow, so he's not a snorer!" America gasped before laughing. "I thought he'd be snoring away at a time like this!"

"Ve~~Doitsu doesn't snore…" Italy whined. "Not in the time that I was with him."

_***cue the scene where Romano strangles Italy…again***_

"Let him sleep." Japan said as he separated the two of them _(which is basically a swift blow to Romano's neck)_. "He's the busiest of all of us so he deserves his sleep."

"I guess so…" England sighed. _"Great, now we're never going to get anything done today…"_

"Hey!" America pulled out a marker out of nowhere. "Maybe we can draw funny faces on him!"

"_I may be sleeping, but __**I can still **__**hear you**__**…"**_

I swear, it was creepier than a "kol~"ing Russia.

**/=+=/**

"Doitsu! Are you OK?"

"Eh? Yeah…I'm fine."

Ludwig turned around and saw Feliciano standing in front of him, a worried look on his face. Sure, he had seen him worried about five billion times, but this time he couldn't help but feel extremely guilty about it. Especially since he was at the verge of passing out because of the lack of sleep. He stumbled once, and Feliciano quickly caught him.

"You're stumbling, Doitsu!" He exclaimed. "You haven't been sleeping well, haven't you?"

"I'm fine, Italy." He said. "Really. I…just had a lot of work to do last night and couldn't get any sleep."

There was something in Feliciano's face that made him believe that the Italian didn't buy it, so Ludwig tried to look as serious as he could. After a few seconds, Feliciano was forced to accept it _(especially since Lovino was calling him)_. He walked away hesitantly, but not before turning his head back to Ludwig.

"Ve~~~maybe I can stay at your place tonight so you can get more sleep!"

Cause that's just what he needed right now…

**/=+=/**

_He was walking down a hallway, dimly lit by candlelight and lined with wood. His footsteps echoed with each step that he took. The white hallway looked gray and meaningless, with no door in sight. Slowly, he walked down the silent hall before finding himself in front of the __Door__._

_He didn't want to open it up. He just wanted to stay in front of it forever. Yet when he approached it, it creaked open, forcing him inside._

_He slowly walked inside, noticing that the echo of his footsteps changed from wood to marble. A pathway was illuminated in front of him, glowing yellow and adorned with candles and lilies. At the end of the pathway was a box covered with lilies and what looked like to be a body. Once he approached it, the face was clear for him to see._

_It was Feliciano._

_And in his hands was the metal cross that Ludwig had given him._

_He cried._

**/=+=/**

"Ludwig."

His eyes twitched and opened up, revealing that he had fallen asleep on the couch and that Kiku was hovering over him and staring concerned into his eyes. Shocked that he fell asleep _again,_ he quickly sat up and shook his head, trying to rub away his headache.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"About five minutes." Kiku answered. "You were mumbling something in German, so I couldn't understand what you were saying."

He knew.

"_Das kann nicht wahr sein."_

_**This can't be happening.**_

"_Er hat nicht verdient."_

_**He didn't deserve this.**_

"Is the meeting adjourned?"

"No, we're just returning from our lunch break." Kiku answered. "You haven't missed anything."

"All right…" He stood up.

"Maybe you should leave and get some rest." Kiku said. "You don't look well."

"I'll be fine." _I'll never get some sleep even if I try to._

He quickly headed off toward the meeting area before the Japanese man tried to argue. On the way there, he accidentally bumped into Feliciano _(who yelped cutely)_. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Ludwig quickly dashed off into the meeting hall. Feliciano turned his head and watched as he walked away.

_His hair is down…_ He tilted his head. _I never thought about it before, but he looks so familiar…_

**/=+=/**

Ludwig sighed as he locked the door behind him. He finally was alone for the day, meaning he could finally get his head together and perhaps get a good night's sleep. The meeting took so much longer _(since apparently a sleeping Ludwig meant that the meeting takes three more hours than usual)_ and it meant that he was now on the verge of passing out at nine o' clock at night.

_But there's still so much work to do…_ He grumbled. _I'll have to work on it now...that's what you get for falling asleep, Ludwig._

The knocking on the door startled him, but nonetheless prevented him from passing out onto the floor. He didn't bother to look at the peephole as he opened the door and saw a familiar Italian standing on the porch. For some reason, he made no move to jump into his arms, instead opting to stand there with a concerned look on his face. His heart skipped a beat.

"…Feliciano." He blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard from Kiku that you were being troubled by something while you were sleeping." He answered. "I…just wanted to know if you were OK."

"I'm fine, Feliciano." He answered. "Really."

"Look at you…you're on the verge of passing out right now." Feliciano grabbed his shirt. "You should get your rest…"

"Italy-"

"Please, Doitsu…for me?"

That's when Feliciano proceeded to give him the pretty dog eyes _(with his eyes closed? He never understood that)_. After a while, he had to give into the demand _(saying no to the Italian had proven to be pretty hard)_. Feliciano escorted him up to his room _(he basically knew the outline of his house at this point)_, helped him into his PJs, and then proceeded to lead him into his room.

"And what are you going to do while I'm asleep?" Ludwig found himself asking.

"Ve~~~I'll find out when I'm there!"

Ludwig shook his head, deciding that Feliciano was probably going to fall asleep after him anyway. Slowly, he crawled into bed and saw that Feliciano did the same thing with that familiar smile on his face. He would've marveled in it a little more if it hadn't been for the fact that he passed out the minute he got comfortable.

**/=+=/**

_He was walking down a hallway, dimly lit by candlelight and lined with wood. His footsteps echoed with each step that he took. The white hallway looked gray and meaningless, with no door in sight. Slowly, he walked down the silent hall before finding himself in front of the __Door__._

_He didn't want to open it up. He just wanted to stay in front of it forever. Yet when he approached it, it creaked open, forcing him inside._

_He slowly walked inside, noticing that the echo of his footsteps changed from wood to marble. A pathway was illuminated in front of him, glowing yellow and adorned with candles and lilies. At the end of the pathway was a box covered with lilies and what looked like to be a body. Once he approached it, the face was clear for him to see._

_It was Feliciano._

_And in his hands was the metal cross that Ludwig had given him._

_He cried._

"_Do you really think that crying is going to solve anything?"_

_He looked up from his tears to see a figure in front of him. It was a young boy with a black robe and hat, his blue eyes digging back into him. It was then that he realized that he was looking at himself as a child, back when Prussia had saved him from a war torn battlefield and raised him._

"_What are you saying…?" He asked._

"_It doesn't matter what you do: crying, avenging, destroying…Italy is dead, and it's all your fault!"_

_He froze._

"_If you hadn't been so self-centered and selfish, he would still be alive! You were stopped once by the world, and yet you decided to do it one more time!" The man yelled. "And you knew that Italy would always be by your side…even if he knew that this is wrong, he'll stay by your side. He'd throw himself in front of bullets to save you…"_

"…_stop it…"_

"_It's the truth! You know it to be the truth, and yet you're just abusing his trust in you! He's just your slave to you, isn't he?" The boy was now sobbing. "Why can't you get it in your head that he's a human being? Are you that heartless?"_

"_Of course he's that heartless!"_

_From the shadows, he saw the image of England appear out of nowhere, followed by the entire Allied Forces. He couldn't help but be startled at the amount of people that was suddenly coming into view. And by the looks on their faces, they're in to destroy him._

"_Haven't you seen what his people had done to their own kind? They've slaughtered millions of people because they were different!" England pointed at him._

"_Not just his people, but my people too!" France accused him. "Everyone that he deemed unperfect was destroyed by his own hands!"_

"_And what about when we made an agreement, da?" Russia smiled. "Didn't he break that agreement just to further expand his territory?"_

"_No...that isn't true…" He held his head. "None of this was my fault-"_

"_Of course all of this was your fault!" America spat. "All you had to do was say no, but you didn't! You agreed to everything he said without once arguing about it!"_

"_No, I didn't like it! I didn't want to do it!" He screamed. "I never wanted to kill any of them!"_

"_You wanted their blood on your hands." China stepped forward. "You wanted these humans to suffer. You make even the Devil sneer at your appearance!"_

"_I never wanted __**any**__ of this!"_

"_Liar!"_

"_Murderer!"_

"_Cold-hearted killer!"_

"_**SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU JUST **__**SHUT UP!**__**"**_

_The voices stopped, allowing him to cry openly in front of Feliciano's grave. He didn't care who was watching now. He just wanted everyone to stop. The accusations, the lies, the death, the gunfire, the bombs, the blood, the endless, endless blood…_

"_I never wanted any of this…" He sobbed. "I didn't want this…I didn't want any of you to suffer…"_

"_Ludwig…"_

_He froze as he heard the familiar voice echo in the darkness. Above him, the Allied Forces and his childhood image surrounded the coffin of Feliciano. But the voice…the voice was Feliciano himself! Was it really him who was talking? Was he telling him that everything was going to be OK?_

"_Why did you use me?"_

_He froze as the coffin in front of him vanished, and in its place was none other than Feliciano, his face covered with blood and a huge mop of blood on his chest…where he had been stabbed. The amount of blood almost made him scream yet again, but he was too terrified in what he saw._

"_I…I never used you…"_

"_Of course you did. Remember when I was forced to join the Allied Forces? I didn't want to do it…you know I didn't want to. And what did you do? You stole my land…killed my people…"_

_He turned around to face his childhood image, and that's when he saw it: a huge knife sticking out of Feliciano's back. The amount of blood that was coming out of it stained his blue attire a strange purple, and he couldn't help but gasp as he turned back around with a murderous look on his face._

"_I never should've trusted you. I should have known better…" They all surrounded him. "But maybe this is what you wanted me to be…oblivious and stupid, so I can forever be your servant."_

"_Feli-"_

"_Don't try to win me back!" He spat. "I know the truth now! You were just using me!"_

"_No I wasn't! Feli, I-" _

_Feliciano lifted up his hand, a crimson blade bearing his metal cross in his fingertips. He felt more tears go down his face as he saw Feliciano's hand slowly caress the metal cross that was supposed to be the symbol of their friendship._

"_You bastards already defeated me twice in battle…yet you decided to turn my best friend away from me?"_

_The sword glowed in a strange light._

"…_the only man I ever loved?"_

_It descended._

"_**WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!"**_

**/=+=/**

All he heard was a small, startled _"ve~!"_ in order for him to snap out of it. His eyes snapped open and he flew up into a sitting position, hearing the startled _"ve~!"_ yet again. He looked to his left and saw that Feliciano had indeed decided to share the bed with him for the night. Feliciano gasped and reached out to his cheek, and that's when he realized he was crying and sweating horribly in fear.

"D-Doitsu…" He gasped. "You're crying…"

"I-It's…nothing." He turned his head away from his warm fingers. "Just a bad nightmare.

"But…Doitsu…" He crawled toward Doitsu's side. "You were screaming in your sleep."

"Was I?"

"Yeah…you were screaming _'leave me alone'_…and _'I never used you'_…"

Hearing that phrase made the whole dream crash upon his head with a tremendous force. Most of them were basically consisted of Feliciano openly chastising him of all the actions that he should've been chastised about. He was accusing him of being oblivious and stupid.

"_I…don't want you to be oblivious."_

"Eh?"

"_I'll tell you…only because you deserve to know."_ He turned to Feliciano. _"I was given everything that I deserved."_

"D-deserved?"

"_Everyone was calling me a liar and murderer…and that I was using you."_ He looked down. _"Even you."_

"Doitsu…?"

"_You were right…I was such an evil human being…"_ He sighed. _"I was using everyone because that was what I was told to do…"_

"D-"

"_I was using you as well…just to expand my land and make my people happy."_ Ludwig couldn't look at him in the eye anymore. _"I'm just a horrible human being…"_

A small hand reached out and lightly skimmed Ludwig's face, causing him to look up in shock. He saw the small smile on Feliciano's face as he leaned in and skimmed his lips on his cheek, most likely feeling the increasing body heat that was erupting from it. Feliciano leaned his head on his shoulder.

"I…I don't care if you were using me, Ludwig. I don't even care if you're using me now." He answered. "You're always so kind and gentle with me…"

"…you don't have to lie to me. I deserve this."

"No you don't. You had to listen to your boss. It's in your blood." Feliciano nuzzled his neck. "No one can blame you for being obedient."

"Feliciano…" He lifted his hand to his shoulder. "Thank you."

He heard him with a familiar "ve~" before the Italian lightly placed his lips on the German. He almost yelped in shock before he quickly sank into the warm feeling that was surrounding his body. Suddenly, he felt Feliciano shiver in his arms and a slight moan, and that's when he realized that _(somehow)_ Ludwig's hand had gone down Feliciano's pants. France would have a _**New Year's Party**_ with this.

"Ulp-!" He blushed. _"I-I'm sorry, I-I wasn't…"_

He slowly lifted his arm up, but then he felt a hand lightly grasp his wrist to keep it there. He looked up and saw Feliciano smiling at him, a light blush on his cheeks.

"_N-no, it's…it's OK."_ He laughed. _"You just startled me, that's all…"_

"…_are you sure?"_

"_Ludwig…if anyone can do this, I…want it to be you…"_

Ludwig hesitated, but after a familiar smile from Feliciano he allowed himself to continue. The grip on him slowly tightened as the Italian shivered underneath his fingertips. Soon, he fell on his back, tempting Ludwig to hover next to the Italian. He smiled, and then…he went deeper.

_Feliciano…thank you for trusting me…_

**/=+=/**

**LOL you were expecting something in the end, huh? And there might be inaccuracies in this, so…sorry about that XD. Hopefully, I might do another US x UK One-Shot. I'm overdue for one…**


End file.
